Jeff's head was starting to hurt, which was worrying in and of itself. He hadn't had a migraine in a while, and he really hoped this just stayed an annoyance instead of hitting that level where he was utterly useless for anything but napping. This was a lot to think about, and it hit Jeff that he really had sort of started letting himself plan things without asking Nick how he felt about them or if they fit into his plans, too, and that wasn't fair. They were married. A partnership of adults who had a beautiful daughter to love and protect, and not only that, but two people who knew, and were touched by the most intimate details of each other's life. Nick was his best friend and his lover, and there were rarely things they clashed this much on along the way. They generally found a way to work things out, and he was honestly beginning to regret that he'd ever brought this up or pushed for it. Having more kids right this minute wasn't a necessity. It was just something Jeff had on his mind and heart a lot, whether he could explain it or not.
"That's... That's really not what it is," he explained carefully. "Nicky, it's not that I can't function without kids. I know that I can. I did before we had Nat, and I will when she and any other kids we may have in the future are grown up and gone to live their own lives. We are so lucky, babe, and I know that. And I understand what you're saying. Of course I'm not going to resent you for this. This is our life, Nicky. And with or without more kids, we have a great one. I guess part of it is probably because I'm going to miss having her home with me. I thought... I thought I'd be okay with it, but the closer it gets, the more I'm doing that panicked daddy thing where I know she's growing up. Sometimes I look at her and I feel like I'm going to cry because she's not my baby anymore." Shaking his head just a little, Jeff realized that he actually was tearing up. "I'm going to be a wreck when she goes to college or gets married or anything like that... God, I'm one of those parents."
no subject
"That's... That's really not what it is," he explained carefully. "Nicky, it's not that I can't function without kids. I know that I can. I did before we had Nat, and I will when she and any other kids we may have in the future are grown up and gone to live their own lives. We are so lucky, babe, and I know that. And I understand what you're saying. Of course I'm not going to resent you for this. This is our life, Nicky. And with or without more kids, we have a great one. I guess part of it is probably because I'm going to miss having her home with me. I thought... I thought I'd be okay with it, but the closer it gets, the more I'm doing that panicked daddy thing where I know she's growing up. Sometimes I look at her and I feel like I'm going to cry because she's not my baby anymore." Shaking his head just a little, Jeff realized that he actually was tearing up. "I'm going to be a wreck when she goes to college or gets married or anything like that... God, I'm one of those parents."